Second, positive personality traits
In positive psychology, positive personality traits (positive personality) have attracted increasing interest of researchers. Hillson and Marie will be on the basis of a questionnaire study of positive and negative personality traits and personality traits make a distinction that the presence of two separate dimensions of positive personality characteristics: (1) positive characteristics of self-interest (PI: positive individualism) : refers to the acceptance of self, can feel a personal sense of life goals or life, or is able to grasp the feel successful environmental challenges and the environment; (2) positive relationships with others (PR: positive relationswith others): refers to when when they need to get support from others, when others need willing and able to help, valued relationships with others and to have reached relationships with others expressed satisfaction. <Note (4)>
Third, the role of positive psychology coaching itself
A psychology research shows that people with positive emotions better than most people suffer. People prefer to have a positive psychological make friends with others, not alone. They are willing to reach out to strangers and have altruistic spirit, more concerned about the people around, but rarely consider their own interests. And it is precisely these qualities as a coach as it should have. Meanwhile, the coach is a mirror, is able to achieve a positive and optimistic attitude is a direct impact on one aspect of customer sentiment. Thus, “to others interested in learning value and optimistic attitude can be seen as a basic quality coach.” <Note (5)>
- Positive aspects of self-interest
Most people choose the coach’s mind is also concerned with personal growth, hope to have a happy, happy life, which requires the positive characteristics of self-interest, that is how to accept themselves and have a personal life goals, feel successful, and the meaning of life. How a person inside look at themselves in the eyes of the outside world can feel how. A calm person, felt mostly peaceful vision; an inferiority complex who feel discriminated against mostly vision; a kind person, felt mostly friendly vision; a rebellious people, feel mostly critical eye. Therefore, as a coach must first change our hearts, in order to have a peaceful, people trust the state. To do this, we must first learn to love yourself unconditionally accept yourself.
1 face their own shortcomings
No matter how many think the shortcomings and deficiencies, how much do stupid things, bad or stupid, from now on, have to stop blaming their critical and must learn to defend themselves and safeguard the dignity and value of life. If a person is able to face and accept their weaknesses, it means that he not only correctly recognize their own limitations, but also to stop their discontent and criticism. This allows us not to waste time on blame and frustration, and instead concentrate on to discover their strengths, or enhance their ability, so you can avoid detours.
2 face their own negative emotions
Each of us more or less have some negative emotions, such as: jealousy, fear, tension, anger, rage …… if we produced a negative emotion, not to suppress, deny or conceal it, but do not blame yourself, demanding their own. First frankly admit and accept their negative emotions, whether it is depression, anger, anxiety or hostility.
Because the negative emotion is legitimate part of life, for example, accidentally sprained foot, we will feel pain; When threatened, we feel fear; When someone leaves, we feel sad, this is a legitimate pain. Basic human emotions, such as fear, anger, grief, etc., own their presence is important purpose: They protect us, to remind us to be vigilant against the status quo, fear drives us extra cautious of potential danger, anger aroused our courage, grief prompted us to reflect on the meaning of life, which prompted us to change the status quo is a prerequisite. So, do not be afraid to generate negative emotions, they do not deny or escape, be the first to accept it, then think of ways to solve the problems caused by negative emotions.
Unconditionally accept that he is allowed to flow through the negative emotions themselves, without leaving a trace, so that they will never live in the moment, do not covet your neighbor outside recognition, quietly doing their part to do, do not pray for any return, so no difference, no judgment, do not expect, engrossed in doing everything the moment. To love oneself is all on his own responsibility, not an excuse to live in, the courage to identify themselves, assert themselves, to enjoy their own unique life.
- Positive relationship with respect to others
As a coach, as customers are growing, developing individuals, the relationship is not antagonistic relationship between education and the education and client. So the coach to develop their own positive psychology, positive psychology should look coaching clients in establishing a positive relationship with customers that focus on the customer experience of the individual self-growth, multi-use equality, positive words to encourage customers to develop trust, sharing and making recommendations human potential to play an active and healthy quality. “Customers really care about the happiness and future.” <Note (6)>
Fourth, positive psychology in coaching application
In the coaching process, the establishment of equality with customers, trust relationships are very important. Note that this requires patience to listen to the coach, have empathy, to help customers self-evaluation, compared with others as little as possible; emphasize their advantages and strengths, any progress and efforts appear to have given them encouragement and praise; learn to trust, appreciation and gratitude, to emphasize the positive side of customers, with special attention to help them develop positive emotions.
(A) the expression of the target to guide customers to the front
Many customers only observed in their own lives and want to get rid of all the errors. They do not want to be able to say exactly what is and is difficult to say what they want, but the design of a negative list of goals like holding an unwanted items, like go shopping. If customers set a negative goal, he will focus on the things above, not want. For example: the goal is not losing money, “not losing money,” the word will occupy the customers thought. If the client’s goal is to quit smoking, then his attention will be in the smoke above. As a coach, we are in the best approach is to help clients clarify goals, please tell the customer what he wants – if he wants to make money and physical health is not that he does not want.
Conversion (two) coaching in positive and negative words
1, changing the words of faith conversion
The same thing or a thing, the value contained in different environments are different. As a coach if we can help customers find the conducive environment, will be able to change a thing, or a thing of value, thus changing the customer-related convictions. Such as: the customer’s language:
– Bottled drinking water as a beverage, no one will buy;
– Older, not to compete with the young;
As a coach, you can ask questions to make the conversion to positive words:
– Bottled drinking water as a drink, what would attract people to buy?
– Older, stronger than the young in what areas?
Indeed a lot of faith in their own life and growth of doing things is very important, it is part of life, one life is to help us achieve the highest level of success and happiness of tools, but also the belief of our own making. When faith in us to achieve goals in life has been obstructed, we can fix them temporarily removed, widened even change.
2 active role, positive language
In everyday life, we often hear all sorts of negative words, such as “sick”, “impossible”, “finished”, “no hope” …… people might say these words just a moment to vent, or is customary to blurt out, they did not realize these things on their own they would have a bad impact. In fact, these languages give them a negative implied by the subconscious affect their thinking and action. Therefore, as a coach to guide the conversion occurs in the language of customers, resulting in a positive effect on their heart.
When customers feel tired when you say! “Today is really worn out,” the coach can say “busy day, now he can finally relax!”; When a frustrated customer said, “I am a fool, failed again!” Coach You can say, “This year, although without success, but I believe you have learned a lot of things, share with me what you have learned something?” in the following table for the child’s mother said, and if converted into positive language, will help promote good parent-child relationship.