Self-state mode “see” in the Application
– Case excerpt
Customer frustration and grievance describe her relationship with the boss: the boss is unfair, do not trust her, she communication and relationship with the boss stalled, asking the way out.
Teach: You can say something concrete examples it?
Customer: I have a strong ability to work, my boss is not reusable, long ago I was the only one chosen to work independently qualified weaker faction to another colleague.
Teach: What did you feel and think?
Customer: I am very angry, I think he does not trust me, I want to squeeze out.
Education: Why do you have this idea?
Customer: I am the oldest with the boss, is his strongest men, he does not reuse me, but to cultivate and reuse weak who are way out of my colleagues, this is not fair!
Education: Why do boss?
Customer: I do not know. I may be too strong, do not love to ask him; sometimes too direct, openly contradict him. But he also criticized me in front of everyone, do not leave me to face it! I do not praise his work independently, the weaker colleagues from time to time that he needs his help to quite enjoy. He just did not like me, want to catch me go ……
Teach: It sounds like you are very depressed, let’s stop for a while. I have a psychology concept may be able to help you, willing to listen?
Guest: okay.
(A simple model to explain the self-state)
Teach: Now you be a cool spectator, through self-state mode, you feel that you are in what state?
Customer: (laughs) a jealous rivalry, angry child.
Education: (laughs) interesting detect. Now back to the adult ego state, and how do you see these?
Customer: Although I very strong, I can not take over all the tasks; boss can not just rely on me, he needs to train others. My colleague at different stages which need attention and support different bosses. I should also be considerate of the feelings I openly contradict the boss when ……
Teach: How do you feel now?
Customer: (laughs) calmer.
– Case Study
This paragraph is taken from one of my real case, to protect customer privacy has been modified slightly.
In this case, I felt from the customer’s thinking, verbal and emotional state she is in children’s self, which is not conducive to her to see themselves and the problems they face. Ask her permission, I briefly introduced the ego state model; calm down and let the customers through this new learning to see themselves. Customers soon realized that he was thinking about children’s self from the state, sense and respond to her relationship with the boss. Return to Adult ego state, she will naturally see themselves and their situation rationally find reasonable and effective response.
When clarifying the status quo and problems, we sometimes easy to follow the client’s emotional and dedication into the details, let the customer to repeat the inherent mode of thinking, stuck in negative emotions. Through self-state model, we can quickly detect client state in which the self and its impact on customers. So timely halt, on the one hand allows customers to pull away from the old patterns and emotions, on the other hand inviting customers to learn new patterns. When a customer to grasp the future, will soon be able to see a different picture Through this new window, and then feel the attitude and energy transformation.
Conclusion
This paper briefly describes the ego state model; and through some analysis of the case and shows how to use this tool to help customers out of the restrictions inherent mode, see themselves.
The tool is simple and convenient, you can share with our customers everyday language. After the customer understand, can quickly self-use; coach is what comes naturally to help customers achieve “Insight and breakthroughs, with a new perspective and positive energy to face themselves and their situation” critical conversion.
Before using the tool, we should have a better understanding of their and their daily lives and to pay more to use. In addition, we want our customers to look clear through its own rather than through it to evaluate coaching clients. We aim to create a customer “dance” platform, enabling customers to derive maximum benefits.
Reference book
Ian Stewart & Vann Joines (1987), “TA Today, a new introduction to Transactional Analysis”
(Taiwan) New Translation Yi (1999), “Analysis of interpersonal communication practice law.”
Thomas Ohisson, Annika Bjork & Roland Johnson (1987), “Transactional Analysis Psychotherapy-TA in theory and practice
(Taiwan) 黄珮瑛 Translation (2006), “interpersonal communication analysis-TA therapy theory and practice.”
Mary McClure Goulding & Robert L. Goulding (1979), “Changing Lives through Redecision Therapy”
- (Taiwan) New Translation Yi (1997), “Regeneration Tour – by then the decision to treat life-changing.”